Singing to Myself
A journal of solitude, grief, and becoming
Nearly ten years ago, I hiked Te Araroa through New Zealand’s South Island by myself, over 900 miles, 2.5 months, alone.
During this time I kept a journal and wrote in it every day. Ten years later, I'm ready to share it. I was 23, still grieving the loss of my mother, grieving the collapse of my family, still not over the boy who broke my heart. I’d already run away to Australia at 22, trying to outrun the grief, trying to shed my skin, trying to figure out who I was and what I was meant to do with my life. I carried everything I needed to survive on my back, walking between 6-10 hours each day. I didn’t know what I’d find out there. I thought I’d find the answers to my life, ha, I didn’t. But I did find solitude, self-love, self-trust, and trust in the universe.
Ten years later, living as an undiscovered artist in NYC, I find myself struggling with the same questions, different branches, same roots. So I’ve decided to release these pages. For myself. For the version of me ten years ago. For the girl who was brave and sometimes reckless, who washed in snow melt rivers and ate a PB&J every day, who cried out and cursed the world and sang loudly and lovingly to herself for miles and miles. I hope that by reading and reflecting on them, I can find the spirit that ignited my flame again.
Starting Thursday, February 12th, 2026 I’ll be releasing these journal entries word for word, weekly on Substack. Raw. Unfiltered. An attempt to become more vulnerable as an artist, and an offering for anyone who’s ever felt lost, not enough, lonely, or on the edge of becoming someone new.
If you feel like walking with me, you can subscribe to the link in my bio.
Thanks for reading,
-Terra
Meet the Team